Facebook Rehab Program Receives Major Update

I’m altering the conditions of my Facebook rehab. Why, you ask? Because it’s my rehab program and I can alter it if I want to. It’s like when the terms of parole and early release for prisoners are worked out due to good behavior. I think I’ve earned some good behavior credit.

The new terms are:

1. Read 3 books.

2. Complete 3 video games.

3. Watch 6 movies (any combo of DVD and theater)

4. Complete a guitar basics lesson.

5. Listen to ten albums that I’ve never listened to.

6. Complete a draft of the script for my short film.

I cut out the short story as I started the story from a different state of mind, and major turns in the events regarding it have led to a vastly different frame of mind, and I don’t feel ready to pick it up where I left off as of yet. And as I have currently hit a wall with the script, I think completing that will be an accomplishment in itself.

I cut down the numbers of media consumption because as I’ve been going through them, I’m being reminded just how time consuming they are. Which is not a bad thing, but I think this new amount is a good amount for my rehab program.

Updated progress report: Finished reading High Fidelity. Started reading Kushiel’s Dart. Finished God of War II. Currently playing Kingdom Hearts II. Watched Krrish, Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanmo Bay and High Fidelity. Listened to Happy Songs for Happy People and Young Team by Mogwai.

It has arrived.

And by it, I mean Summer movie season.

4/25 – Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
5/2 – Iron Man
5/9 – Speed Racer
5/23 – Indiana Jones and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
6/6 – Kung Fu Panda, Mongol
6/13 – The Incredible Hulk, The Happening
6/27 – Wall-E, Wanted
7/4 – Hancock
7/11 – Hellboy II: The Golden Army
7/18 – The Dark Knight
7/25 – The X-Files: I Want to Believe
8/1 – The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (Questionable)
8/8 – Pineapple Express
8/15 – Tropic Thunder, The International, Towelhead

Bring it on.

Spice Up Your Life: Eat Something

I’ve come to the conclusion that life for most people is extremely boring. I came to this conclusion the other day when I was going over certain conversations in my head that I’ve had with people. See? My life is so boring that I have to entertain myself by reliving meaningless conversation in my head. You ask someone how their weekend was or if they have anything exciting coming up and they’ll tell you that they’re going out for (insert name of trendy foreign food here). The concept of the social feast aside, when did life become so boring that eating became a noteworthy event?

- How was your weekend?
- Pretty good, I went out for sushi/Thai/Malaysian/Ethiopian/Indian/Vietnamese.
- So your weekend was good because you fulfilled a basic survival need?
- …yes.
- Oh.
- How was your weekend?
- Not too bad. I showered on Saturday AND Sunday.

It’s probably not a good idea to say that in response as you will remind the person of just how boring their life really is when they realize that their idea of spicing things up means eating food that is pretty normal to a large group of people from another culture. It’s better to ask where the restaurant was, what they had, if they thought it was good and if they would recommend that you go there. That way they can feel that their life is somewhat interesting, having dabbled in the food of another culture and spreading the word to other people.

Before I Return

I deactivated my Facebook account and canceled my Myspace account last week. Not permanently, but I’m taking an extended leave of absence. The reason for this is because I believe I’m addicted, and am taking matters into my own hands. There are several things I enjoy doing, and I haven’t been doing any of them because when I come home from work, I sit on Facebook and Myspace until I go to sleep. And that’s really sad. There are things I enjoy doing far more than playing Scrabulous, and SuperPoking, and tagging people in photos.

I bought God of War II last week. I had been wanting to get it since it came out a year ago, but I didn’t want to pay full price for a game from the last generation of consoles. So I waited for the price to drop to $20. Yeah, I’m a cheap Indian when it comes to certain things. Anyway, last week, it finally dropped. So I bought it. You’d think when I got home I would have torn it open and played it until the wee hours of the morning. The next morning it was still in it’s wrapper. I canceled Myspace and Facebook right away.

So yeah, I’ll be back, but I want to get used to not having them. Well, I don’t really give a shit about Myspace anymore. It sucks and I hardly ever use it. I had been planning on getting rid of it for some time, and last week seemed as good a time as any to get rid of it. So I probably won’t sign up for a personal account again any time soon. Facebook is the major time killer. I don’t want to be checking Facebook on my phone, nor do I want to sit on it all night to see what witty status updates my friends can come up with.

And so it’s not up in the air, because I do think having Facebook is necessary to a small degree, I came up with a list of personal activities I want to complete before I reactivate my account and rejoin the masses in updating my status and Superpoking and playing Scrabulous. In no particular order, they are:

1. Complete 5 video games.

2. Read 5 books.

3. Watch 10 movies that I haven’t seen before (any combination of DVD and theater).

4. Listen to 10 albums I haven’t heard before the whole way through.

5. Complete a guitar basics lesson.

6. Complete a draft of script for my short film.

7. Complete a draft of the short story I started several months ago.

I made it so it will take some time, so I don’t cheat myself out of disciplining myself. And those things might seem like enjoyment to most people, or even ways of wasting time, but to an artist, they are fuel for creativity. Sure they’re enjoyable. But when I approach them as work related, I tend to put them off for as long as possible. Given the length of time the last two things will take up, I think it’s good to have so many other things on the list, and I think they’ll help facilitate the last two in a helpful manner.

And so you have some idea of where I am on the road to my return and am not just talking out of my ass, I am currently playing God of War II and reading High Fidelity. I bought a guitar tuner. I am six pages into my script, and four hand written pages into my short story. I’m going to watch Krrish on DVD tonight and Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay this weekend.

See you soon.

Another Wednesday Night Rant

I hate the new “People You May Know” feature on Facebook. It keeps showing me people I don’t like and wish I didn’t know, like my roommate from UCLA, and my lying, cheating slut of an ex-girlfriend, and other random people from my past. It’s ridiculous. If I want to find people I know on Facebook, I’ll search for them myself or since they’re basing the whole feature on how many mutual friends you have, I’ll eventually see that they’re on Facebook and add them.

I’m resisting the urge to buy Guitar Hero 3 for my Wii. It’s getting stronger and stronger. But I really don’t want to buy it because if I do, I’ll never sit down and learn how to play an actual guitar. I’ll sit there and think I’m cool like all the other losers who push rainbow colored buttons to re-create rock songs that they had never heard before playing the game. Yes, I just called you a loser. It happens sometimes. Sorry.

Hillary Clinton gets on my nerves more and more each day. She offers Barack Obama the position of being her VP when he has the lead in the delegate count. Then she makes up some bullshit about being attacked by snipers in Bosnia, when there is video footage of her walking around calmly. Even if she was attacked by snipers, how does that make her experienced in the realm of foreign policy? Some Bosnians shot at her husband so that makes her an expert on foreign policy? “I can run from bullets, vote for me!” She should have kept going with the story and related how she threw Bill under Air Force One to protect him from the fire and then ninja flipped through the air and took out the snipers with her left hand and then shot them with their own guns. Barack’s probably thinking “Bitch, I’m black, i’ve been running from bullets my whole life!” Now she’s comparing herself to Rocky. Rocky is a fictional character. He didn’t actually do anything, because he’s not real. Maybe she’s telling us that she’s not real. Can she please stop before she hurts herself? Bill’s out there on the campaign trail probably thinking “If I hadn’t got caught fucking around with that stupid Lewinsky bitch, I wouldn’t have to be here right now. I don’t understand why she doesn’t see that Barack’s going to kick her ass. Honey, please throw in the towel and be his VP so I can go home and watch porn with Al.”

And then Chelsea Clinton shows how stupid she is by rudely dismissing a valid question during one of her campaign stops. I’m sorry, but that question was perfectly legitimate. Making a person feel stupid for asking and then telling them that it’s none of their business when asked if the Lewinsky scandal damaged Hillary’s reputation was completely out of line. The Lewinsky scandal was the reason that one of the most popular presidents in history was impeached, so anything related to it is open for public debate. So Chelsea, as hot as I think you are, please go fuck yourself. Or better yet, let me do it for you. She says she doesn’t grant interviews. What the fuck does she even have to say that’s worth hearing in an interview? You don’t want to be a public figure, then stay out of a public campaign. I wanted to get the Hillary signature shirt for my friend because her cat’s name is Hillary, but I just can’t bring myself to contribute to her campaign in any way.

Her campaign is really starting to make me worried about what it would be like if the laws were changed and Arnold Schwarzeneger were allowed to run for President. He’ll tell us about how he can keep us safe from terrorists because he took them out in True Lies and how we’re safe from aliens because he beat one to death with his bare hands in Predator. He’ll probably nuke the Silicon Valley to prevent the Rise of the Machines. And can you imagine his stance on health care? “It’s not a tumor!”

I need some beer.